It's The Salt for Me!
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It's The Salt for Me!
When God Gives You a Sign, Believe It the First Time: The Devil Does Not Come to Play!
Have you ever asked God to give you a sign for something you've been praying about? Did He give it to you and then you asked for another sign to be sure and then maybe another? Well, let me tell you! I have and I should have believed God the first time! The devil took my doubt as an opportunity to shut me back down. Now I know for sure: When God Gives You a Sign, Believe It the First Time: The Devil Does Not Come to Play!
“It’s the Salt for me”
Podcast Episode 5
When God Gives You a Sign, Believe it the First Time: The Devil Does Not Come to Play!
Hey! Welcome to Episode 5, Pt. 01 of “It’s the Salt for me, brought to you by The Salty Christian.” I’m your host, Marie. I invite you to subscribe, share and comment. We have new episodes every Thursday…except for the last three (3) Thursdays, but there is meaning in my madness!
I’m gonna start with this: When God gives you a sign, believe it the first time: The devil does not come to play!
About three or so weeks ago, I started to feel a little down. I became unsure of what I should really be doing in life, including whether I was even supposed to be doing this Podcast. I was feeling good about what I had done so far. I spent a lot of time on each episode and to my surprise, people were listening. I prayed about it to God before I ever even worked on the first episode. God clearly told me that this is something I need to do. I mean, OK, I know it’s gonna sound like I doubted God (and honestly, a small part of me probably does because of what I have been through (which is why I’m salty to begin with and going through this process), but I would pray for signs from God for reassurance that I was doing what He wants me to do. Then, I’d be watching different church services online and I swear they’d be talking directly to me with the “I don’t know who needs to hear this, but…” or, I’d see a random post that told me exactly what I’d been asking God. These things kept happening. So, I knew I was supposed to follow through with the podcast and I was excited because God wants to use me to give a word. Not to preach or anything like that. But, I think, to let people know that it’s ok to be mad at God. It’s ok to have questions. It’s ok to feel disappointed. It’s ok because God loves us unconditionally. And, in the end, it is through all of this that we will find Him.
So, like I said, about three or so weeks ago, I started to feel down. I think I mentioned in my first podcast how I was starting to come out of a sort of isolation I had been in. I kind of cut myself off from a lot of things for a really long time. And, if I didn’t mention that, that’ll be a podcast for another day. Anyway, when I had started working on my first podcast I felt myself starting to come out of this…isolation…for a lack of a better term. I was finally able to study the Bible, pray. I started feeling pretty good again. I was able to focus on God like I hadn’t been able to do for a minute. It’s not that I didn’t want to. It was almost like something always pulled me away when I started to try and get my relationship with God back to where it once was. And, let me tell you, it’s been a difficult process. Not because I don’t believe, but because I absolutely do. And I know I need to get right. I just felt so forgotten and let down by God that I think I turned my back on Him, and that’s never good. Working on this podcast made me study His word. Made me pray. Made me worship. Made me think about Him all the time. Made me want to strengthen my relationship with Him even more. After a while, I noticed I started trying to do things I had stopped doing. Calling people, Forgiving people like I should. Being kind to people. Praying often and trusting God. It was the most excited I’ve felt in years. I knew I was on the right path and I felt a shift in my relationship with God. He showed me signs when I asked Him to. In the end, something would come over me. This beautiful feeling that I still can’t explain whenever I would think about or ask God to show me a sign about this podcast. My eyes would tear up. I would cry. That’s when I really I knew I was on the right path. God had been clear with me. I knew what I had to do. So, I did it. I completed the first podcast. Funny thing though: When I recorded the first episode, it took a few days. I’d be in my room alone with everything set up to record. For some reason, whenever I would hit record and start talking, I would get anxiety. My voice would shake, I would feel so embarrassed. Like I just wanted to crawl out of the room and nobody was even in there but me! I kept trying though and I finally got through it. I was proud. I hoped God was proud of me for following through. I posted the first episode about a week later. To my surprise, people listened to it. More and more people every day. Every time I checked the numbers, there were more listens. I excitedly started working on the next episode, then the next. People listened to those too. It was awesome!
During all this I decided that I needed to go back to church. I had been going to a mega-church from time to time until covid hit. They closed so I started watching on television on Sunday mornings. It’s not like I had gone every Sunday up until that point because truth be told, I hadn’t. I was in isolation. I was mad at God so I kinda stopped going. If I’m being honest, I didn’t see the point. He was ignoring me anyway. So, I decided I wanted to go back to church. I’m a little old school so I have always wanted to go to a church like the one I grew up in. A smaller church that sings the old songs, where you can get to know people and really be involved. Not to say that you can’t do all those things with a mega-church. A smaller church is just my preference. There was this church down the street from me that I had heard about from a neighbor, but they were closed due to covid as well when she first told me about it. Well, everything has been opened for a minute now so I got up about three or so weeks ago, got dressed and went to check it out. I prayed that morning while driving to church that it would be the church I had been praying for. That they would sing the old songs, that the preacher was good, that the people were kind all the while thinking, please don’t have them make me stand up, state my name, where I’m from and remain standing. LOL! And if you’re old school you know what I’m talking about.
Let me tell you. It was a small church so I felt a little anxiety going in. They greeted me right away. I went in and sat in the back. Church started with the choir singing and I swear, they sung at least 5 songs from when I was a little girl in the church I grew up in! I was juiced! I stood up and was clapping my hands singing along thoroughly enjoying worship. We all sat down after prayer. They did some announcements. Then, they did the one thing that I didn’t want them to do. They asked any visitors to stand up, state your name, where you’re from and remain standing! Ugh! I wanted to shrink in my seat. Everybody was looking around and some others stood up. I knew I had to. And, of course, because I sat my silly self way in the back, it started with me. Now, my anxiety is off the chain at this point. My heart was beating and I wanted to run. Instead of me telling them my name I quickly said, “hi, I’m originally from California and I’m looking for a church home.” Everything was a blur after that, man. I was just glad it was over and I could sit back down.
The preacher went up to start his sermon. I will say, at first, I wasn’t impressed, and I was like, ok, God, here we go. He was older. I’d say probably about a thousand. I could tell he was reading from his notes the entire time. It started off slow but then something shifted. That man may have been reading from his papers the whole time, but he sure did start talking to me! “I don’t know who needs to hear this, but God wants to use you to get a message out.” Wait, what?! He started that old school sanging preaching. Had me and everybody else jumping out of our seat throwing hands in the air, tears falling from my eyes. Everybody was praising God. It was a scene.
I left church that day feeling so good. So happy. I had found the church I had been looking for. Everything I had asked for was there. God delivered in more ways than one. I was on my path.
Meanwhile, I was still working on the podcast and checking daily to see if people were still listening, and they were. Until one day, a couple days after I had gone to church, there were no listens. Then the next day there was. The next day there wasn’t. Every day was different. It was no longer consistent. It’s funny because instead of focusing on the good listen days, I obsessed with the no listen days. What God? What now? You told me this is what I am supposed to do. And I was really upset. That’s when I started questioning God and everything I was doing and completely blaming God. Again.
Before I go any further, let me reiterate: When God gives you a sign: Believe it the first time, ‘cause the devil does not come to play!
I started to shut down. I didn’t believe that I was still on the right path. If God wasn’t going to have people listen every day, what was the point? A couple days after that I was on my way to work. It was still dark out around 7 in the morning. I turned the corner from my house onto the main road. I didn’t drive too far when I looked on the ground to the side of the road. There was a deer on the ground. I swear we locked eyes. The next thing you know, that daggone deer jumped up and ran in front of my van. I saw what was happening and all I could do it slam my brakes and hold on tight to the steering wheel and scream bloody murder. I really thought I was going to meet my Maker that day. It was too late to try and swerve out of the way. I think every car behind me probably heard me scream. The deer hit the front of my van. I had to drive down a little further to get off the road. I was shaken at best. I took a minute to gather myself. I watched the cars that were behind me driving slowly past me. I really didn’t know if I was supposed to go back and check on this deer or not. I mean, it wasn’t like I was going to get out of my car and walk up on it, but I could probably make a call. I drove back down the street to where it hit me. That deer was nowhere to be found. I was like, ain’t that about a blip! The van seemed fine so I made a u-turn and drove on to work.
When I got to work, I thought, “oh, lemme check the front of this van to make sure it all good.” I walked up there and my van was tore up! Not only did that deer hit the front, but there was a dent in the drivers side door too! I didn’t even know it had hit the side. I was too through. I went inside and called my insurance to report it, then called my husband and told him what happened. I called around to a few body shops but nobody could even take it on for at least two weeks. My husband called around and found someone who would take it the next morning.
The next day, I used my daughters car to get to work. Later in the day I was minding my own business walking down the driveway at work to check the mail. This bee or wasp was really following me and had the nerve to hit my face and fly off. So I’m walking down the driveway trying to dodge this thing cause it’s just messing with me at this point. I know people driving by were wondering why I was acting a fool. I almost reached the mailbox thinking I’m in the clear when that little sucker comes out of nowhere and stings me dead in the middle of my eyelid! I can’t even begin to tell you how bad it hurt. I immediately thought back to the only other time in life that I got stung by a bee. I must’ve been 4 years old (it was that traumatic that’s why I have never forgotten). I went next door to see if my friend could play. I rang the doorbell and this bee came out of nowhere and stung me in the middle of my neck. I must’ve screamed like I was being kidnapped. Her dad opened that door so fast and he’s screaming what’s wrong, what’s wrong?! I’m screaming back, “a bee stung me, a bee stung me!!!” That’s all I remember.
Back to the present day sting. Luckily, my co-worker had just gotten back and all I could do was laugh and cry at the same time. Cry because it hurt like all get out, but laugh because he and I (mostly me) was just making fun of another co-worker who had gotten stung a couple weeks prior and his eye was all swollen shut. I was like, why didn’t you dodge it? Didn’t you see it coming, as I acted out dodging a bee. My eye didn’t swell shut but it was swollen. My co-worker got the stinger out. Yeah, part of that was clearly karma.
After these two things happened, I started to shut down even more. I didn’t go to church that Sunday and I didn’t record a podcast episode. I just stayed in bed feeling sorry for myself, blaming God.
A few days later, to top it all off, I got a call from my husband asking me exactly how hard I hit that deer? I said, I hit that deer pretty hard. I told him I wasn’t kidding when I told him I thought I was going to meet Jesus. I asked why and he said because the repair shop just called and said they’ve had to contact the insurance company to see if they are just going to total out the van.
I was shocked. I know I hit it hard, but I didn’t know it was that hard. I was heartbroken. Did I mention that this van was the last thing I had from my dad who passed away? Yeah, all I could do was cry and hope for the best.
About 4 days later, the insurance company called and said the van is totaled. I was devastated. God let me down again. Again.
So, before all of this, I had also started reading the book of John which I promptly put away as I started to shut back down. Although I could feel myself shutting back down, I still tried to pray and study God’s word because I knew what was happening. I also felt like a complete hypochlorite. How can I tell people to forgive and trust God while allowing myself to shut back down? I knew I had to fight my way out of this. I didn’t go back to church, but I watched on television whether I wanted to or not. I kept trying to read the book of John. As I read, I noticed a pattern. The people in the book of John kept wanting Jesus to show them miracles and signs in order for them to believe He is who He said He was. Even though they had already witnessed his miracles. At that point, all I could do is laugh because I had just learned that I am so much like those people. God showed me signs when I asked but I kept asking for more because I was clearly having trust issues. I should have believed Him the first time. I didn’t, and I feel like that gave room for the devil to sneak in. Distort my thinking. Have me blaming God for the bad things that were happening. When I figured that out, I was able to put things into perspective.
The first miracle happened while I was watching a service on television. The pastor said something like, “God has given each of us a gift. God wants us to get the word out about Him. There are those that come to steal, kill and destroy.”
It dawned on me in that moment that maybe none of this was Gods doing. Maybe it was the devil trying to stop me because He knows I was on the right path. He also knows that I’m a bad mamma jamma when I put my mind to something. And then it hit me:
Who is to say that that wasn’t my dad who orchestrated that deer hitting the van? We had put money into it on several occasions. Before the deer hit it, it had started to have a few problems. Was making some questionable noises. I would have never gotten rid of that van. I told my husband that maybe it was my dad and God. Maybe he had that deer hit it just hard enough to not hurt me, but to total it out. My husband looked at me and said, “you’re probably right. It doesn’t make sense that you hit that deer head on that hard and the airbag didn’t deploy.” Mind blown. I didn’t even think about the airbag. Why didn’t it deploy? Honestly, it just occurred to me that I pray every morning on the way to work for God’s protection on the road. For safe travel to and from wherever I am going.
God had his hand on me that morning. The more I think about it, it should have been a lot worse than it was.
As far as the bee sting? Maybe it was Gods way of telling me to open my eyes to what I have asked Him for and the answers that He has given me. Stop focusing on the numbers. It’s not about the numbers. It’s about getting Gods word out. Open your eyes before you get stung by the devil.
The devil tried me. He tried to destroy me and isolate me all over again. I allowed it for a short time but this time I was able to find Gods goodness in the middle of it all. I kept praying, studying Gods word and I started smiling again as I figured out what was really going on. I trusted God again and He showed me the bigger picture.
What’s the point to all this? I should have believed God when He showed me a sign the first time and I may have been able to avoid all of this. Instead of focusing on the task at hand, I started focusing on the numbers. I got discouraged and the devil pulled the old okie-doke.
Ephesians 4:26–27 says, “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.”
I got angry because I was focused on the wrong thing. It wasn’t really about the signs God showed me. Or what He had told me I needed to do. At that point, I think it was more about my ego and that gave way to the devil. Luckily, I was quick in understanding this time (well, it took about 3 weeks), but I understood what was happening none the less and turned my eyes back to God and now…all is well with my soul.
For the record, people have still been listening over my three-week hiatus. Lots of people. But you know what? It doesn’t even matter. I don’t really care anymore, and I don’t check it as much now. I’m doing what God has told me to do and thoroughly enjoying it. If nothing else, it’s bringing me closer to God. I’m winning either way.
I’ll end with this: We went to look for a new car. I’m not one to spend a lot on cars. I never have been. We walked all through the lot. Somehow, my husband got separated from me and my daughter. We kept looking and looking. I pulled out my cell phone to call my husband because I hadn’t found anything and was over it. He was no more than 3 feet in front of me looking at this car that was parked in the middle of isle of all these other cars. It was beautiful. It was priced within our budget and only had 39 thousand miles on it. My daughter and I had to have passed that car, as did my husband but we didn’t see it. Maybe we didn’t pay attention because we thought it was someone else’s car. I don’t know. It was like manna from heaven. A reward for trusting God and working it out and putting the devil behind me. It had to be from God because we drove home that day in our new BMW SUV because God is good all the time and all the time, God is good.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this episode. There won’t be a part two because listening to God first is something that needs to be done daily. It might not happen overnight but as our relationship with Him deepens, so will our faith, trust and obedience.
I again invite you to subscribe, share and comment.
I’ll catch you on the next episode of “It’s the Salt for Me.” Until then, be blessed and be a blessing.